Depression is like a second "being," or rather, two "beings" that confront each other, apart from me, but they "inhabit" me, they consume me. It is difficult to put into words a mixture of feelings and emotions... It's like a process of erosion, with the wind hitting the rocks; you don't notice it, but the rock is eroding. So, I understand how depression came about and my current condition.
I no longer see it as a disease, but as something that needs attention, reflection, and daily work to be able to deal with a set of factors (some external), understand, and act accordingly. If medication is needed in cases where therapy is not enough, it is the solution that applies; that was my case.
When I speak, it will always be from my perspective - each person has their diagnosis. I don't know how it was for others, but in my case, I think the first signs of depression appeared, through a comparison of feelings (state of mind), in 2008/09. However, I didn't pay attention to the symptoms; I dropped out of college and took refuge in the safest place: my parents' house. I started working, and life went on. For years, it didn't manifest, until the confinements.
It takes deep reflection to understand when it all started, at least to try to understand the "breaking point." But it's important to get back to that place, to somehow understand and make peace. Therapy is important, whether individual or couples therapy, as it helps to put things outside ourselves, to try catharsis little by little.
It is possible to treat, recover, and "return" to feeling normal, or find a new circumstance that leaves us appeased, found, with a sense of belonging to our surroundings. I don't know what happiness is, but I know what happy moments are. These don't happen by chance; there will always be a certain amount of responsibility and surrender/search on our part.
This project was shared on Instagram from 27 May 2021 until 21 June 2023.
If you've read this far, thank you for your patience. Cheers! |
